Random rant

I hate my former employer.
Why? Keep reading…

 

My Salary

I thought my salary was OK, it wasn’t much but I thought since I lacked a formal education and was lacking experience working as a Programmer it was OK.
Now 4-5 months after I was fired I’ve started to look around. Looking more into the salary I received has been very upsetting. I’ve realised that my salary peaking at 2’350 € / Month was low for a programmer, so low that I’m now ashamed of letting people know.
I’ve had a word with the union that most programmers are member of (atleast I hope most are members with them) and I’ve used their salary-comparator tool on their website. I filled it out with as honest/modest responses that I could provide. It suggested that my salary should’ve been placed between something like 3’800€ – 4’300€ per month. Okey, lets subtract a bit since I lived 5 mins from where I worked in a very small town. And a bit more since I didn’t have a formal education. I still reckon that my salary should’ve been closer to 3’000€…

Knowing this I feel sick… Knowing how grossly underpaid I was really makes me not wanna work anymore.

 

My Workload

It was my first serious job so I thought the workload would of course be stressful, but I had no idea what was waiting.
Every day I’d be given a new assignment, sometimes I was lucky and was given a task that would take days and I was actually allowed to work for days on it. I was never given any time to “get into the zone” so I could easily code or solve my problems.
I think the origin of my depression is shortly the stress of moving to a new environment (I had to move 220 km in order to start my new job), starting a new job in a foreign part of the country. Starting with a salary I could barely sustain me and my girlfriend on doing a job that was very stressful.

I’m no longer surprised I suffer from a depression.

 

My resignition/dismissal

Yes I wasn’t the best employee.
Yet I have my rights. I had been sick for a year, suffering a depression and stress-related symptoms. I had an agreement with my employer that I was to let them know of any changes in my sickness / ability to work.
I met with my employer and a new doctor in October. After that meeting it was clear that as soon as something changed, I was to let my employer know. But for 2 months nothing happened. I was in the same state and even getting worse. I met with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with medium-to-severe depression and sent me home. A week later I received my medical certificate (A week after my last one expired), I sent a copy to my employer as soon as I got it in my hand (It was delivered via mail). On the 19th of December my boss called my mobile, I missed the call and I decided not to call back (I knew my boss, he never answered his mobile and rarely his workphone). I thought I was going to get in contact with him after new years since I was out of town to celebrate christmas with my family.
Instead. when I returned home after new years I had a letter in my mailbox, it was my notice of resignition.. Dated the 22nd of December… Two days before christmas. I’m very happy I missed the call on the 19th, who would’ve loved such information a few days before christmas? (Yeah – Some may argue that if I had answered/called back I wouldn’t have been fired. But due to the circumstances, I know he was calling to inform me that they were terminating my employment)

 

I’m very aware that writing this kind of information about myself will certainly not help me get another job.
But to be honest. At the moment I couldn’t work even if I was healthy again.
The result of the topics above is that I’m very discouraged to search for a new job. Do I even dare to take another job now?
At the momeny I’m only alive due to the kindness of my family since I’m not receiving any benefits from the state. Don’t I live in a wonderful fucking country?

 

For the note. I would advise any programmer / developer to not take any employment with my former employer in Skåne Sweden (Contact me if you wish to know their name). As they pay way too low salaries, is run by a 30-35 yo with no management skills and they simply don’t care about their employees.

If you read this. I’m very grateful that you’ve read my entire story. What happened to me.
I’m not proud of my way of handling this, but it was the only way I could as I felt alone and like both the government and my employer was targeting me. Was picking on me.

Now my life is ruined and there’s simply no light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Title … ?

It’s been almost a month since I posted anything.
I decided to stop my 365-day/post challenge simply cause I wasn’t feeling up for it anymore.

I’m still working hard on my project, It’s slowly getting bigger and bigger. I decided to take a step back to Java and Libgdx, simply cause it would help us out more in the late run than c++ would be able to. It would take too much work and too much time to get it working properly…

Day 33/365: Threads

I’m new to threading. I’m not gonna lie about that. Most of my smaller prototype-size games have been singlethreaded. However, this new project is soo big I’m preparing for multithreading already. I’ve encountered obstacles with it already!!

The obstacle is my lack of experience with threading – The resourcemanager, which is responsible for loading the textures for the harddrive into the memory, is not done when it’s reporting that it is done! So it’s done but NOT YET.

This causes issues as the rest of the program begins to run once the manager is reporting “DONE!”. So when the rest of the program starts loading up, it notices “Where’s the textures you promised me?!” and starts puking NPE’s on me!

I’ve been tackling this issue the entire day today, although I noticed it yesterday. *GRR*

Okey. Calm down, tomorrow is a new day. And I’ll solve it. Until then.
Night night!

Day 32/365: A new month

A new month, the first one blew past way too quickly!
Anyway 12 days left to my deadline – I’ve been working some today, working on the rendering engine. Making some tweaks here and there. And it is so fucking fun! Even when I’m not coding I’m working on my project – Finding youtubers whom I want to give review keys, coming up with new ideas for the game to enhance it or make it more comprehensive or even watch reviews/lets plays of similar games on youtube and taking notes so I know what areas I need to keep an extra eye on.

The most important thing however, this game is for me (and ofcs those who help me make it). It’s a game I’ve wanted to play for a very long time. It feels so great that it’s slowly starting to take shape.

And I must confess – The game has changed a lot since I first started thinking of it. It’s changed so much it’s hard to call it the same game anymore.

I’m a bit hesitant if the artist I’ve recruited for this project is up to the task. His art looks amazing however it shows that he lacks experience in creating this kind of art. (Not that many that have it either I’m afraid). I’ve asked him to not work too much on the project while I’m making up my mind. Just wish I new more artsy people so I could show them the art and get a second opinion – Since I’m not that artsy myself I tend to think anything anyone but me made is awesome…

I’m gonna try out his art in-game before I make up my mind.
Maybe it looks a lot better in-game than I thought.

Day 31/365: Tired

Omfg. I’ve not felt this tired for ages.
I got some proof that I’m starting to feel better now. I managed to drive further without being at risk for falling a sleep.
You really shouldn’t drive when you’re too tired though, I know that. I make sure that I always have a co-driver with me that is able to take over in case I’d feel super tired or start behaving dangerously. I need to push my limit of what I’m able to do to be able to keep pushing my limit ahead of me.

Now. Time for bed, time for rest and tomorrow I’m gonna continue on my project.

Day 28/365: Over 100 posts!

I’ve posted over 100 posts on my blog now! (3 posts ago).

It feels like a big number, only to me since I’m not used to post every day yet. No, not even after 4 weeks into this year..

Okey, so tomorrow it’s time to get some coding done again – make massive leaps of progress.
Alpha 1 has a tight deadline, really tight. But I’m confident we can make it 🙂 Even though we were delayed by sickness 😦

Day 27/365: Nothing special today

I’m sorry to announce that nothing special happened today. I’ve been very tired – So tired that I feel dizzy…

My project is on a tiny halt – My friend is helping me out with it, and we’ve both been sick for a couple of days. I’m just waiting for him to feel better and we’ll continue on thursday/friday evening.. I can’t wait for the progress we’ll make this coming weekend…